I went to work that evening, puffy, bloodshot eyes and all. I told everyone I was fine who saw that obviously something was not. I needed the distraction, it calmed me down and made me realize, life must and will go on.
It was time to tell family, I would first call my mom, I really dreaded it though. My mom cries at the drop of a hat, always has, how the heck was she going to take this news? I knew if she knew how distraught I was, she'd fall to pieces, so I took a deep breath and called, it was time to be strong. I kept the call very business-like, stuck to the facts and the immediate actions. And then came the question "how are you?" she asked. "I'm fine" I replied. "It is what it is and nothing I can do can change it, I just need to be educated and prepared and do whatever I need to to care for this baby." WOW, where did that come from? That made more sense than anything else that had gone through my mind that day. I kept repeating that response over and over for the rest of the night and while I still shed some tears, a calm was coming over me.
I decided to e-mail my closest friends, I could really use some kind words of support but didn't want to make 5 phone calls and rehash the day 5 times. I'd save the call to my dad for the next day, for some reason I thought that call would be more difficult to make.
Oh, and mom surprised me, NO tears....at least not then.
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